Humans are social beings; we need to be in relationships with other people, romantically and otherwise, to thrive.
In this post, I will share my thoughts about What Spirituality can teach us about Relationships. Further down, you will also find the video of my Instagram Live with Hannah Wallace, where we shared our experiences around relationships.
The ups and the down of relationships
Being in relationships with other people is one of the most challenging and fulfilling ventures in our life.
On the challenging side, we have to cope with emotions such as greed, lust, jealousy, fear, loss, anxiety, abandonment and many more.
On the positive side, relationships can give us love, a sense of belonging, purpose, fulfilment, pleasure, meaning, energy, companionship and many more.
In a recent Instagram Live, I spoke to Hannah Wallace about What Spirituality can teach us about Relationships.
You can watch the video below in case you missed it.
My thoughts on What Spirituality can teach us about Relationships
Below, I share some of the insights I gleaned from the Instagram Live with Hannah and some further thoughts on what Spirituality can teach us about Relationships that we did not cover in the Instagram Live.
Live and let go
Spiritual love is not holding on too hard and giving people the freedom to grow and shift; sometimes, that means letting them go. However painful that might feel in the moment.
One of the most challenging aspects of relationships is the anxiety which underpins the fear that someone will leave after all that relational investment. I see this hesitation in people around me. They do not want to take the risk of potential heartache; the thing is, that is always the risk.
In any relationship, we are in, be it romantic or not. People can always leave. The thing is, everyone changes – we change – and eventually, everyone will leave.
Either by choice or death.
If we can, the best thing is to enjoy the relationship for as long as it lasts.
Everything in life is temporary, and everything comes to an end.
How long a relationship lasts does not dictate the quality of the relationship.
Everyone and everything comes into our life for a reason, and that is true from them leaving our life too. Often, strife and struggle are brought into our lives because that is the only way we will change.
If you are going through a difficult time relationship-wise, try to see it as a catalyst for change.
Again, never hold on too hard – practice healthy detachment.
I do not want anyone to equate this coldness. In fact, it is the opposite. Be as warm and loving for as long as it lasts and allow it to do so without much resistance when it fades.
Set healthy Boundaries
Spirituality has been a core tenant in my life since childhood, and it weaves itself around every thought, feeling and decision.
The most valuable spiritual and psychological concept I have come across is setting healthy boundaries. Although even boundaries have now begun to receive a bad reputation, it is what I have benefited most from, and it is one of the first things I always bring up to my clients if they have not already worked on theirs.
In a Spiritual Healing session with me, one of my clients told me how she had always thought that boundaries were something external, whilst it is actually an internal practice.
Most boundaries are not set in stone and are negotiable, although some are and should be fairly unmovable because they protect you from unwanted intruders.
You may wonder, what do boundaries have to do with Spirituality?
Our boundaries protect our innermost being; it dictates who we spend our time with and the decisions we make for ourselves and others, and they can become a framework for guiding our life.
Knowing your boundaries is an integral part of your journey inwards to find out what works for you; they will inform your values and purpose, which is all spiritual.
Nurture your authenticity
Together with boundaries sits authenticity. Trying to be someone who we are not is exhausting. Instead, what we should work towards, and knowing our boundaries helps with this, is to be authentic.
Society is constantly trying to mould who we are; the antidote is self-awareness, and through self-awareness, we can create authenticity.
Our authenticity is also fluid; it can move and change, and you are the only one who truly knows when you are being authentic, and through your self-awareness work, you will know when you are and when you are not.
Your intuition will tell you.
There are no set rules
Magazines and influencers will have us believe that there are specific rules you must follow to have a successful relationship, particularly romantic ones.
This is antithetical to authenticity and boundaries.
You do not have to go on X amount of dates before you are dating, you do not have to lie about who you are to seem desirable, and you do not have to wait X amount of time before you text them back.
Instead, grow your self-awareness, understand your needs, values, purpose, and boundaries, communicate them well and figure out what works for you.
Humans are complex beings with a wide range of needs and ways of being. You have to do the work to find out what works for you.
Honest and open communication
An underlying principle of Spirituality is honesty. There is no point in hiding, deceiving or manipulating to get your way.
Communicating with honesty is tough because it requires vulnerability. But still, if the person you are with does not like what they hear, perhaps that is a sign that they are not correct for you.
Always remember to communicate with tactfulness, care, kindness and compassion.
Some final words
Relationships are beautiful, marvellous, gutwrenching, and worth the risk.
Remember, live and let go, know your boundaries, be authentic, and raise your self-awareness; there are no set rules and communicate with honesty.