Build Groundedness and Get Clear about what you want

I’m noticing that in most of my Psychic Tarot Readings, the clients I’m working with here at Esoteric Institute are very unclear about what they want—making it unsurprising that they come to me for a reading. 

This is not only true for my clients; I also see it in my friends and family. 

In this blog post, I will explain why building groundedness is more critical than getting clear on what you want; following that, I will outline how you might become clear about what you want and some of the steps you need to take to get there. 

Build Groundedness

Before I head into the details, I want to say that you must approach everything I’m about to mention with flexibility and acceptance. 

I bring forward flexibility because you might have a brilliant plan, but a huge life event happens, everything changes, and your original plan goes out the window. Flexibility has to be coupled with acceptance because you will need to be able to accept at any moment that everything might change. 

Change can sometimes feel unnerving, but that is when your character is tested. 

Further, I want to share that if a plan “fails”, it does not mean that you did not do your best; it only means that it was not meant to be and you are being guided in a different direction. You still needed to go through the experience of “failing” to learn from it. 

Two affirmations that often help me are: 

  • There is no such thing as failure, only learning. 
  • There is no “good” or “bad”, only challenges and opportunities. 

The tricky bit about consciously creating a plan and vision for the future is that Spirit might have a very different plan for you than you imagined. I’m not suggesting that you should not have a plan. I’m saying that anything you do has to be approached with flexibility and acceptance, as I mentioned above, and sometimes you simply have to go with the flow. 

Instead of becoming too caught up in material outcomes, build a strong sense of groundedness to know who you are and your purpose. That will carry you much further in life than focusing on material gains. 

Building Groundedness

Getting clear about what you want regarding relationships, career, money, and health is critical. However, building a sense of groundedness in yourself is much more important. If you have a sense of groundedness in your mind, body and spirit, the world outside of yourself can keep on changing, but you will have a solid spiritual core which means you can cope well with the ever-changing nature of our existence. 

Start with articulating your Purpose

Your purpose is your calling and sits at the intersection of your strengths, desires and wants. In Japanese culture, you might have heard about it as Ikagi

Having a sense of purpose is essential because it is a force which drives you forward and helps to guide your choices. I heard on a podcast once where the guest said, “My purpose is to bring food on the table to my family”, which tells me that your purpose does not need to be anything lofty and grand. All it needs to be is something that gives you a reason for your actions. 

My purpose is to help others heal and have spiritual experiences. 

Know your Values

Similarly to knowing your purpose, writing out your values helps to become a guiding compass for your actions. My values are Honesty, Courage, Spirituality, Health, Integrity, and Authentic.

Set Healthy Boundaries

Creating and honouring my healthy boundaries is my most life-changing decision ever. Growing up, I did not learn about boundaries, nor were my parents good at role-modelling them. 

Beginning to set healthy boundaries can be uncomfortable because it will require you to make new decisions about your life, and other people will misunderstand, and that is ok. 

You keep going anyway because you only live once in this incarnation, and doing anything else wastes time. 

Nurture Sustainable Habits

We are creatures of habits, for better or worse. Dismantling “bad” habits formed over a lifetime will take time, and you must be patient with yourself. That does not mean you shouldn’t because small habits will accumulate significant changes in your life over time. 

James Clear smartly said, “Think 1% better every day.” 

Form Discipline from a Place of Self-love

In some circles, discipline has got a bad reputation. Self-discipline needs to come from a place of self-love over berating yourself. 

For me, discipline means freedom. Start building your own.

Practice Meditation

Underpinning everything is to have a strong meditation practice. In my meditation, I gain access to my spiritual purpose and values. From that place comes my philosophy for life and the strength to remain authentically me. 

Meditation also gives me calm and a sense of perspective when needed. In addition, meditation gives me access to a spiritual understanding of the world and reassures me that all will be well in the end. 

Want to try out my practice? Head over to YouTube

Becoming clear about what you want 

Now that you have understood how to become more grounded in your mind, body and spirit, it is time to consider how to become clear about what you want regarding relationships, career money and health.     


Healthy relationships are the most facet of our life; they give us a sense of belonging, connection, love, the ability to share, and much more. 

When choosing a romantic partner, many people seem to have two left feet, and I’m one of them too. 

Regarding romantic partners and otherwise, there is something spiritual at play. We will meet some people, and it’s simply not meant to last long. There is a karmic situation that occurs, and then it comes to an end. 

That said, I take a lot of inspiration from Jillian On Love. She is the right amount of spiritual and no-nonsense person regarding love. Inspiration from her should help you get more clear about what you want in a relationship.    


If you can, choose a career which is intrinsically motivating over extrinsically. 


Everyone has different ideas about money and how much you should care about it. 

George Kao, The Authentic Business Coach, has shared some great thinking about Healthy Money, and I’d say I agree with what he shares.

Money is essential, yet, it is not everything. In fact, money is incidental. I would much more promote a lighter lifestyle with more time for contemplation and helping others. 

You obviously have to decide what works best for you. 


Our health is all we have; nothing else works anymore once that goes. So give your health the priority that it deserves. 

In other words, your health should be at the top of the list. 

Create an action plan

Using the abovementioned categories, we recommend writing an action plan and prioritising what you will address first. Don’t try to change everything at once. That will only become overwhelming. 

Consider writing out 3 SMART goals per category. 

To remind you, the categories are health, money, career and relationship. 

Final words

Building a sense of groundedness takes time and effort. So be patient with yourself and take one step at a time.

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